


Baby Fever

by ultimatehope



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers Family, Baby Peter Parker, Domestic Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pregnancy, Trans Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24131020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultimatehope/pseuds/ultimatehope
Summary: Tony is envious of his friends' perfect, little families while he deals with sobering up and trying to start a family of his own with Steve.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 7
Kudos: 91





	Baby Fever

**Author's Note:**

> Just another fic to go along with Shell-shocked in exploring the domestic AU that I write with my husband!! Bucky and Tony are his favorites so obviously I have to write how miserable they are, lmao. Peter is their first son then we took James from that baby Avengers movie, same w/ Azari.

Dysphoria. 

That had to be the icing on the cake made of nausea, body aches, an uncontrollable bladder, and every restless night. Tony was convinced he hated being pregnant and would never do it again. His husband respected his feelings, his friends validated them, and yet, he envied the ability to be pregnant and not feel such self-hatred. 

He envied Bruce and Thor’s plan to raise a horde of Asgardian children, both made and adopted. It wasn’t that Steve doted on Tony any less than Thor did Bruce, but it was different. Bruce had to worry about keeping the Hulk at bay for nine months, and he didn’t even seem fazed by that fact! He never talked about it, just enjoying peace and quiet as Thor threw him around the base with beaming pride. 

The Hulk and Bruce Banner seemed to be one, finally agreeing on one thing, and it was enjoying being parents. The fucking Hulk enjoyed the concept of pregnancy more than Tony Stark, and it disgusted him.

Then, there was T’Challa -- as if he wasn’t graceful enough being the attractive, young king of Wakanda. Ororo had to get him pregnant so he could sit criss cross with his belly on his legs and look like an actual God at every opportunity. When they talked about pregnant people glowing, they were talking about T’Challa. He grinned like the cat who ate the canary, and every chance saw him basking in knowing how regal he looked. 

Bucky and Clint served as a breath of fresh air. Neither could imagine getting pregnant, but Tony was reminded that neither really had a choice either. He was left feeling as if no one truly understood what he was going through. It was a decision that he made. 

Steve had presumed if they agreed to have kids, they would simply adopt, and when finding out Tony never bothered getting his uterus removed since he was so content after his top surgery, he left it completely up to him if that was something he was comfortable with. Even when Tony begged for someone to have an opinion on the situation, no one would tell Tony what he should do. Not even Rhodey or Pepper would take a side on whether he should have kids at all, let alone if he should get pregnant.

Now, Tony was sitting in bed, nearing the end of his dreadful decision, and wishing he could have a drink right about now. Actually, the harder part of all of this might not have actually been dysphoria. Maybe, he was just so grumpy that he had to quit drinking … 

“Tony, are you off in your own little world over there?” Steve’s voice shook Tony from his daily ‘Feel sorry for himself’. A smile was plastered across his face while his eyes flicked between his sketchbook and the love of his life. 

“Yeah, probably,” He shrugged and sunk into his bedding, “Are you almost done?”  
“Only if the model says so--” Steve pushed up and came over to kiss Tony’s face, “You’re so handsome, why would I ever wanna stop drawing you? Do you wanna see?”

“God, no. I do not want to see, but thanks, love…” He rolled his eyes but was eager to catch Steve’s lips in another kiss. 

\----

Tony was the first of his friends to give birth. He would also be the first to argue that it was the worst thing he ever experienced and cut off anyone who tried to name a time that was worse. The feelings that came afterwards solidified his belief in how he felt an instant disgust over the newborn.

Peter wasn’t as… cute… as he thought he was going to be, and it seemed as if all he knew how to do was cry and look for a tit to suck on. A feeling of regret swept him up, as if he never should have tried to start a family. What kind of parent didn’t want to hold their own child? 

He was left to watch everyone else enjoy this moment. 

Coulson and Fury came to share in the “Congratulations” and Coulson seemed reluctant to pass Peter on to any of his other uncles, aunts, and unofficial family members. Reed and Strange showed their faces too, but any conversation went in one ear and out the other.

Eventually, Steve swiped the newborn away, “Don’t you all think this is a little much?” He chuckled and found his way to Tony’s bed. He didn’t try to hand Peter over, instead resting the child on his chest, “I’ll get the crowd out of here-- I’m sure the both of you want to rest.” 

Tony could’ve said “Take this off of me” or “I don’t care” or “I want to die” or anything that he was thinking, but silence encaptured him. He stared at Peter with a numbness that he never thought would go away…

\-----

But it did. 

It took days… and weeks… and months after that. It took sleeping for two day intervals. It took talking to Bruce as if he was his therapist. It took puppy-dogging T’Challa when he returned to America with a baby named Azari. It took having to look Peter in the eyes and actually take care of him instead of leaving it to Steve. It took Strange telling him “I’m not that kind of doctor”, and most of all, it took time. 

It was an uphill battle, but it was the little victories. He didn’t wallow in depression with a drink in his hand. He was barely in the lab, trying to overwork himself to cope with his problems. For one of the first times in his life, he looked his problem right in the eye. He grabbed the bull by the horns.

And he realized that Peter was one of his favorite people in the world. 

“You know, he really reminds me of you,” Steve stared intently at his husband and child as he tried to get every freckle drawn in his sketchbook. 

“Oh, really? I guess I could see it… shitting my pants every few minutes, crying when I’m hungry, wailing when I’m put in my crib… yeah, this baby and I? Might as well be the same person,” Tony replied with sarcasm laced in his tone as he adjusted the baby in his lap, “And he’s getting kinda chubby... “

Steve laughed, “That’s not what I meant… I don’t know, he’s …” His words trailed off as he continued his sketch, tilting his head from side to side.

“Hold on, I’m about to shit my pants.” 

A snort followed Tony’s words, and Steve pressed his forehead to his sketchbook in laughter, “I just love you both so much, how about that? Do you wanna see my drawings?” 

Tony scoffed, “Oh, absolutely not…” He froze and looked between his husband and the baby that was drooling on his hand. Tony always said “no”. He was convinced he would never want to look at that specific sketchbook. 

“I’m gonna go start making some lunch for us, give me a holler if you need anything,” Steve was already off the bed, adding the sketchbook into his pile when Tony reached out.

“Actually, I wanna see it.” 

Steve lifted an eyebrow, “Sure, love, let me know what you think.” He smiled as he handed over the sketchbook before disappearing from the room. 

Tony sucked in a deep breath, “Well, kiddo, let’s see--” He spread his legs out and set the baby down in-between them, dropping the sketchbook in front of them. His nose was already scrunched up as he started pulling the sheets apart.

Then, he exhaled and his expression lightened. It wasn’t as bad as he thought. He continued flipping through pages, drawings upon drawings of … him. None of them hyper-feminine, none of them focusing on any of the parts he couldn’t stand about himself. 

“Look at this, Petey, daddy really knows how to draw, doesn’t he?” He cooed, eyes drawn into every detail that was included. When he arrived at the sketches of him while he was pregnant, he exhaled, “If I was gonna have a baby as cute as you, I’d do it again…” 

A chuckle followed before the weight of the words came down on him. Even though he was the only one who understood them, it made his stomach churn. The relief came when he got to all the drawings of him and Petey. 

And he was mesmerized by every page.

Eventually, he was shaken from his thoughts by Steve knocking on the door and squeezing his face in, “Ready for lunch?” 

Tony set the sketchbook to the side and stood up with the baby in his arms. He adjusted him, causing a little squawk to come out of Petey, and met Steve in the kitchen. It was a quiet lunch with Peter in Tony’s arms the entire time. 

It was after lunch while Steve shuffled to clean up and Tony was lulling Peter to sleep that the scientist spit out, “What if we had another one?”

The question was enough to make Steve choke, and Tony wasn’t even sure if he meant to say that. Sure, Peter wasn’t as difficult to deal with as some other babies were, but what were the chances of having two mild-mannered children? 

Despite neither of them believing Tony actually said that, “James Stark” was born just a couple years later.


End file.
